Ch 12 Personal maps: freedom and enlightenment:

            Individual paths to the same solutions.

Social personality systems as organized by cross bar and other interconnecting logic produce. False energy wells which and be + or - and cancel out other places a deeper then or create false attractors.  This correlates with moral systems which advocate that errors naturally exist (shame guilt,  sin - etc.).  This also has a strong correlation with aspect theory - Where trine conj & sextile. are deepening & sq. op. conj. are cancelings. Also orthogonal patterns are easiest to associate - trine sextile & 90 as bad association.) and close sets are difficult to recognise - i.e. The truth is usually under ones nose or selling water by the river or realization of the importance of the obvious.  Thus school and other systems go for the orthogonal producing 1/3 errors sq. = aversion. and 2/3 sticky too deep or adherence amplified as over connected  without shame and confusion. produce op. 90 150, 180 & 30  

At the root of self originating Mind is a connection with the whole evolutional history of our biosphere and with all life and processes including physical cycles. The push toward diversity of species that is implied in the use of the term "self originating" does not imply a disconnection or isolation from a whole, but a process of co evolution: all species developing together from a single source and containing this single changing source that is the "cosmos". Greater diversity, far from being a disconnecting event, and only happen in a environment of greater interdependence. My readings indicate that many others who had similar enlightenment experiences report a new consciousness of the connectedness of all life and beyond. My scientific cultural training Citra 1958, which points to an evolution by random processes, disconnected from other life and lifeless matter, seemed to totally contradict these experiences. This contradiction still exists as the psychiatric frame of reference which labels this as merely a grandiose feeling – remembrance of the "real womb". If I had my experience in 1980, I might have studied general systems theory of self originating evolutional and information systems, But the available writings at that time were the "mystical" works of Ospensky, Tibetan Buddhism, and Judaic Kabala. In 1967 I started to study the system of connections traditionally labeled "Astrology", but not as a passive system of "influences", but as an active process of development where the physical cycles are incorporated and used by life processes as information indexes by which to build time binding structures. In this book I am ignoring the obvious scientific objection to even the possibility of any global - cosmic awareness abilities in cells or cellular structures, and am focusing on the paradigms implied in any cultures Astrology, Religion, and parapsychology. First: Human consciousness is a mapping of the entire ecosystem onto one collective human psychic life as the Zodiac of animals, insects, and plants. This implies that human personality is fragmented and interconnected. Second: Each species contains a complete map of the entire ecosystem, split into self and other, that coevolves from a single source simultaneously in all species. This touches on the religious ideas of gods and spirit present in all cultures. My system models human phenomena such as language, learning, psychology, sociology, religion, Mind, and a beginning of a physical - medical model connected by acupuncture daily cycles.

What is direct without name dropping like “fractals”. As someone said, don’t look or appear smarter/above. That is not the point and leads to nodes: above/below. The situation is that the “answers” are simple but cannot be “seen” because our jour98a # 298    3 mind is holographic and uses the code of culture to “see” – understand – “put two and two together”, because “two” is spelled different than the code accepts. The steps to opening to “seeing” are 1. Lose your mind/self. 2. Stay away from reconstruction systems like truth/religion/science. 3. Let your original – non-language mind point the way or rebuild. 4. When this happens you begin to see what is in front of your eyes but invisible. What is seen/invisible are the connections: what is the connection of key/time signature in music and the structure of holographic mind. What is the connection of the structure of words and grammars and the structure of holographic mind. What is the connection of the cosmos and the structure of holographic mind. What is the jour98a # 299    4 connection of agriculture/hunter and the structure of holographic mind. What is the connection of sharing the structure of holographic mind and the impossibility of culture due to the biology of neural networks being self organizing. What is the connection of consciousness and the structure of holographic mind. What is the connection of Neural networks and the structure of holographic mind. What is the connection of descriptions of “God” and the structure of holographic mind. What is the connection of Qi and the structure of holographic mind. What is the connection of the I Ching and the structure of holographic mind.

what is Ego? The start code or vector for the “Master” coherent source we use to construct out world map. It is normally secure unless we get-into egolessness meditation. Psychics can do this somewhat naturally, but can, of course, only speak it thru their mind and how much it is written on their source. Thus I can access others “self-mind” if I let my ego source go. Isn’t this what I am asking Evan to do, and what I do in musician community?

Emergence: while playing solitaire I see that the mind process is to look at many stacks as if they are harmonies or planet relationships at different places / locations. These stacks are in the visual domain where everything is presented at once and the next “step” is in the time domain of a sequence of moves that results in a subset solution resulting in a move towards coherence / completion. Only after a sequence of moves involving many, but not all, stacks does the next move emerge. Thus the mind only works with a few / limited number of connections as steps before it goes on to the next set. This is modeled by melody and counterpoint over a measure based on the previous segment that produce expectations of the next segment. When the obvious prediction is produced then the music does not move as if the card stacks were moved in a repetition cycle that ends where it began. When some surprise is introduced in the music, it has moved to a new step or in the solitaire model, a new step with greater coherence has emerged: a solution. This process in human cultural thought produces a new sequence that produces a step closer to coherence, which in science produces a law or theory that results in greater understanding of reality. The stacks of the planets are constantly changing so that new “problems” present themselves. Yet humans can use the solutions in a free way at any time, which is a characteristic of the neocortex. Mass production is such a solution as is civil governments that solved the problem of ruler-ship by autocratic Kings that represent the single “self”. This democracy models the holographic mind and competitive self organization within [and between?] neural net layers.

Is Tantra NLP using sex to reprogram?

Enlightenment also refers to fearlessness if fear is a social relationship to shame and fear of loss of “face”, since I lost more than face when I lost the old personality: self! Thus I became a pioneer ready to tackle what others call difficult or impossible to understand.

Know your mind like a mother knows her child!

new

. I don’t know more: I have more access to the holomind or inner enfolded wisdom.

10/23/01 10:34 AM .

My talent is organization and structure: not writing. Therefore, I will not worry writing: just put my work on my home pages all up coherent or not.

Do not take responsibility for so much. That is the slumped shoulders!

I don’t need to wait until my animal mind is motivated to write my book: holomind can override and do it all day as if agricultural!

I said to myself in 1962 that symphony musicians would resent my improving skills, so I avoided self development. This was carried out by my firing – dismissal and rejection in Chicago! The orchestra has a hierarchy of skills that “serve the greater good”! So does religion! One cannot become Christ or Buddha!

Building parts from “reframing”: how and when to stop. TV! Solitaire. Find and reengage  joy! Accomplishment! Book: build basics. Then see if old stuff fits!

Stress and Weight: it is reported that stress releases a hormone that requires fat cells to accept fat! Especially around the waist! Thus reducing stress such as the teeth clench during Bass playing will help keep the weight off! What does NLP do about this?

Resonance in others selecting me as friend means that I am not responsible if I no longer give them self resonance. They may have needed a looser to feel superior or I do not and cannot know what. One of the signs is when they try control as if I was part of them and not self organizing. They show by this action they  don’t understand their own many selves that are self organizing.

 So it becomes clear that I seek in others a resonance with my ideas and with who I am: thus who I am attracted to is a mirror! I like them is they are similar to me: I am “like” them.

 Thus I want to share who I am and my skills since that gives me resonance, but if others reject this it is no fault. Since my ideas have gone so far outside the shared cultural map, I cannot expect much resonance.

Here is the next step in a scientific understanding what Buddha was getting at with the 4 noble truths and enlightenment. At the moment of my enlightenment I experienced a unity of consciousness that allowed me to recognize my physical posture as a "hunched over ducking from criticism". So I stood up straight for the first time in my life. I recognized that my simple life tasks were scattered: life had become a "habit" without unified consciousness of "one mind". This was long before I had contact with "Zen". I realized that I was not automatically a "nerd" to others, but was only known for what I presented myself "as".

 That was on May 30, 1958! It took all this time to link this experience with science in understanding that Buddhists are talking about real biological states of consciousness that we now refer to as fight and flight or depression or anxiety. These were called "samsara" in Buddhism and "The World" in Christianity [as in "there is no happiness in the world"]. I'm glad I did not "protect" my enlightened unity of One Mind over these 43 years: this allowed me to find more complete and new ways of looking at the same experience: to validate it over and over.

Now I see that "ordinary" consciousness is like a chronic pain / suffering. that culture teaches us to accept as "normal". Yet the answer to the removal of suffering "normality" is not years of meditation and is not available to only a few, but is part and parcel of "ordinary mind" and is built into the biology of being human. [in the evolution of the neocortex] This "fragmentation" of mind is also built into biology as holographic mind: if you divide a hologram or the mind into "many parts", each part will contain the whole picture or in biology, each part can operate as a center of consciousness with different focus. the result of these many or even a few of these focuses going on at the same time is this divided consciousness of "samsara" and suffering the loss of peace and oneness!

This e-mail is not to "preach", but to share my journey!

 The assertion that “life is suffering” as the first noble truth may refer to a lack of unity and acceptance of the resulting consciousness as normal. Just as an injury results in “physical” pain that results from the tissue being separated from the unity of body consciousness, so there may be a bliss that is normal consciousness that is not present because of the separation of the “self” into parts. Thus the Christian idea that “God is Love” may refer to this bliss as “normal” consciousness within a “oneness in God”. Thus ordinary “samsara” culture as portrayed by drama, especially on TV, is the disconnected consciousness called “samsara” that is suffering. It is also referred to as lack of happiness!

The use of stimulants – coffee is because of samsara fragmentation. Thus “one mind” points to unity of consciousness beyond suffering. Attachment is to all the fragments and threads that are part of “becoming” instead of “being human” in a peaceful state. This “becoming” is part of self / other divisions as maps that we internalize “about what we should” be doing in life. This is internal control and supervision that we call “culture”!

The suffering resulting from fragmentation and the different parts not being consciousness of connection to the whole – complete “self” can be in dimensions of the 4 “elements”. I can understand that my social part at birth can be focused on Cap. / Sag. But is grounded in Gemini and Air. I feel communication and presentation of self is part of my wholeness. Thus if others reject my communication, I feel rejected. Thus my community with music performance and the symphony to feel whole?

Yet it is as if my reward for the concert comes from what I learn and grow / emerges in the preparation. Thus the concert is thanks to the audience for my preparation.

Mother is very ashamed of her incompetence and all of her invective that was focused on me was not about me but about her protecting from others labels and criticism. It is all her fantasy emerging from her real shame. It is most likely that her criticism of me all my life contained those dynamics as well as narcissistic responses to my being assertive. Thus I never knew my operational center: mySelf became her image. I also see that my father had no fathering skills except his self organization: he was a walk away.

Shame or guilt may be associated with cultural maps blocking and taking over self organization: this reduces or ignores self awareness. Thus a person cannot see the body / holomind response moment by moment but plugs in maps of cultural performance and teaching to their RISM highest processor. This is becoming clear during my practice sessions! I observe my performance and mistakes and have been ignoring my “heart” or heart/mind which is telling me when and where there are multiple paths within a music map!

 Thus shame and guilt may be the place where ignorance is complete: where humans totally ignore their self organizing holomind and identify with themselves as being only the Self loaded into RISM. [reduced instruction set Mind].

So mother has moved in: I will practice raising her from the death of her joy of life and will to live. This is the true “raising from the dead” miracle!

My dream: it is better to have self respect than to be perfect in performance!

I am carrying on the work started by Buddha and Christ: the characterization by organized religion of this work as a one time thing or that “God” was only  involved once serves the needs of creating a cultural map that is stable. Newly unearthed writings by other apostles of Jesus clearly state that “God” is present within each of us and a all times. So I accessed that presence since 1958 to allow a modern wisdom to emerge that unifies with modern scientific wisdom.

 This includes the principle of completeability: new wisdom must connect with established wisdom so as to complete it, not to deny its wisdom that emerged in another age! Also the principle of being able to connect to all human cultures and points of view. Additionally to see that wisdom is never complete for all time, but evolves alongside human development and evolution.

Idolatry: with people or ideas! Putting others or heroes on pedestals. Expecting them to be “better than human”. Following their directions as religious laws. Doing the same with ideas and procedures reduces creativity and self organization: evolution and the universe as change! It stops skillfulness and replaces it with judgment and “good – bad”.

 This is what I did with Aunt Marie: do it didn’t expect her to lack skills and to be so judgmental.

The voices I hear telling me I am bad: that I have not followed the rules are parent voices. They are recent significant others mixed up with Mother. They are the only relationship of family I experience, not loving but critical voices. The way I seem to quiet those voices – arguments is to do only those things I am perfect at: like solitaire or watching TV as example and permission from Mother! The “peace” and openness of the neocortex [gift from God] is beyond “rules and parent” to creativity and trying new things. This is the “good new [s]”: I can die to the rules and opinions of others and I will be reborn to continue to create the new structures.

Fight or connection – openness? Do I see life as a fight, assertion and struggle, which needs coffee and meat to “get up” instead of relaxed approach to life as easy and simple.

Childhood and watching Bradshaw:

I was admired by Uncle Clyde. I had most success in competition with him, later with chess with Dad and other adults. So much so that my peers didn’t have an idea. So I felt I knew more than anyone older and more developed! So I don’t look for support from modern peers!

Same with music and performance. I don’t expect others to like me, but to demand their admiration because I am superior! I got attention by being superior, but it wasn’t love or friendship!

Putting the pieces of the puzzle together: my Dad could not handle family conflict or demands for attention and love and affection from Mom, me or the world. He walked away and did not even lash out with criticism or direct his anger at us. This now makes sense with Mom: since she did not receive love from her mother, she became self reliant and could exist without affection and comfort. She did not even recognize this as a bad thing, this void in her life. Thus I also learned to not express affection or anger directly. Mom used to give money for an ice cream cone instead of a hug! So I can see how this affected all my failed relationships and what kind of women I chose. Yet now this is not a blaming or criticism, but a release from conundrums and puzzles so that I can acquire the necessary relationship skills.

People and patterns of behavior that drain my life – blood: myth of Vampire! Addiction and getting attention from others that shifts the focus from myself and confronting my lack of skill. Was ice cream my “vampire”?

Dad showed the classic signs “as if” hiding a drug [now] or alcohol [then] problem: emotional withdrawal. Feeling avoidance, conflict avoidance and apathy which at times seemed like depression. Maybe smoking hid that withdrawal, but most it was hiding family dysfunction and shame!

So if I became a Buddha so easily, so can others. But the snag is the desire to “become”, when it is –you are - already there! So teaching is not productive in the usual way. So a community wanting “enlightenment” would start and finish with self organization: not with a teacher leading – explaining from their self organization, but with showing. Thus I remember the remarks of a friend who watched me writing computer programs: that I would be so elated when I found the program “bugs” I created, that he understood that maybe computers were not so difficult!

 Thus the more effort that is made to follow another or to “become”, the more a human connects with the older deeper animal brain of procedures, actions and attachments to expected - predicted outcomes. Thus the seemingly contradictions of later Buddhism: effortlessness, no-self, emptiness, no-mind!

I’m OK.:but I let others say – focus on their Not OK and accept it as me! This has been true recently with women in my life! I focus on what they say instead of seeing me as a focus for their previous trouble instead of resolving their past leftovers!     

Maybe my writings and ideas are too new and untested or unbelievable? It seems I get no response to what seems to me to be totally obvious: but just unconnected. So I haven’t reported at all on my findings for a new Astrology to fit the human brain and behavior.

 Others call my findings infantile.

I can see that my solitaire relates to my teenage chess: gives self esteem as success. I am looking for patterns of how to begin connecting with others.

Could the anger released so often at me, as in the woman I called to find out why there was no contact or at the symphony and senior center, be a result of too much “goodness and helping”? This is forewarned as “playing rescuer” as being as unacceptable as bad manners. It is received as “better than thou”: no one of self organizing wants to be proved wrong or shown that their “cultural ideas” are out of style! Britt calls it “showing off” and she is in touch from within of the structure of social interactions.

 So self organization dose not accept external change: social structure must match the internal map or error – suffering pain signals emerge. This has the same internal structure as the nervous system pain signals!!!! AND WHY NOT? So the middle way refers to extremes above and below “the norm” or “current fashion”! As “how fashion constructs the brain”!

Pairs as in the Cross and Star write a composite holomind of two directions within an individual: group as in family or community – cultural and for the individual action. Thus Jupiter would be individual action and Saturn the family community with real connections to the parents and other generations. Thus energy connections relate to all of this, not just to an individual “self”! Thus Neptune relates to civilization: all humans, and Uranus to an individual within a group? Venus relates to the 12 meridians? This is a new paradigm about being human. Thus the AA give my life to a higher power is connecting to this group mind within! The psychological “super-ego” then has some validity as first glimpse! The older view of single objects and selves is finally understood within a general system. The “subconscious” is thus related to Venus Mercury and Moon also as pairs!

So it is not man and God as separate or together, but simultaneity. Is that what Jung was going for? Is it part of his thinking with archetypes?

All of this is rooted in the conditions of my enlightenment experience. it was a total surprise that was not sought or wanted – desired before-hand. It was only the accident of having some free time before starting summer school at Boston U. during which I looked for a book to read. I saw the book “Introduction to Zen Buddhism” in a Drug Store and said “What’s this?”. My only interest in Asian religion was fostered by a rejection of the Christian Dogma that “only those that accept Christ are saved”. So after half-way reading this book I remember even the look of the page and words: “… and there is no perfection or imperfection”. The idea of rebirth is really a meaningful description of that moment. A few months later when I started to ask myself what I would now do with my life, the largest need I could see in world culture was the large rift between science and religion – spiritual. So I started with a mind open to all cultural viewpoints much as did RamaKrishna had done 100 years before. The first place open to me in Boston was the Vedanta center. So I was already applying the scientific method even though I had yet to have a close study of same: there is no one religious teacher –savior. Truth must be able to be seen from all directions!

So the point of all this history is that my research has been on hold until I could access other viewpoints, which is what I hope for with our pending dialogue!